i don’t remember the first time i heard it - but i think i’ve felt the same about that word for a long time. i may have used it a few times and feel like an idiot for doing so. “cool story, bro” —
maybe it’s because i am so used to hearing “boring” stories. most people think literature is “boring”. the old man and the sea… a guy goes fishing, catches but eventually loses a big fish… cool story, bro. (i can totally feel DFW’s influence on me) - read DFW stuff, he will tell you a story like he has the most important thing in the world to say. but reading about office life and accounting and tax forms for 20 pages is “boring” (see the pale king). i’ve probably spent hours reading technical things that i don’t understand, but was enthralled by a world i didn’t understand so had to read about it.
today, i got new headphones. my m&m headphones RIP (don’t even know where they went).
cool story, bro — right? who cares about my headphones, who cares, who cares, not interesting…
the reason why i really don’t like “cool story, bro” = it makes people feel stupid. i think the people who know talk to me often will testify: when i talk, i say a lot of things that have NO value. i will tell stories without a climax, without a punchline. i especially like telling stories of how i had fun, or how i laughed. but the story is about that - my experience, not the humor behind it. of course it’s awkward because i’m laughing and the other person is… listening.
cool story bro… is that another way of saying “i shouldn’t have listened”… or “not interesting/funny/scary/emotion-inducing therefore not worth my time” or “if you had the opportunity to relive those 4 minutes, i hope you’d choose not to tell me this story” (cool story bro, wanna tell it again?) or “i only have x amount of time to live. you’re really going to waste my time telling me this bs?” or “i don’t care” —
i like hearing stories. i like hearing about other people’s lives. who cares if its boring, if its mundane. that’s life - tell me how the laundry didn’t work, so laundry took you four hours instead of 2, and now you’re running late for your meeting - tell me how you played basketball for 3 hours and every cool play you made - tell me how every lame thing.
my life is filled with mundane stupid things. and i think friends live life walking alongside one another… even when there aren’t any cool stories, bro. even when the story isn’t funny (but it’s funny to me, vice versa), even when things don’t tickle your fancy. i think i do this to alice and josh a lot - tell useless stories things a lot so props to them for never saying “cool story bro” to me.
this doesn’t apply every time but still - somebody might tell a story that weighs something, that is heavy to them - and you hear it, and you find it insignificant. you say, “cool story, bro” - somebody gets hurt, confused, and decides not to share the next time you’re there. who knows.
i think there was once when i was making fun of somebody using “cool story bro” and i don’t remember who it was but i think it was elizabeth. i don’t smile over every story and cry and get super happy about every story, just like i don’t thoroughly get aroused by every book — but most books, most stories i like - even if i won’t remember them tomorrow.
it’s late right now, so forgive me for being a little more rude. but the next time i hear someone say “cool story bro” to me, maybe i should look at them, smile, and say “well fuck you then” if (and because) that’s how i interpret “cool story bro”.
so tell me a story, tell me something that means something to you. i think i will listen. sorry - i might not remember. but in that moment, i’ll care because you care. (i guess the big underlying assumption: i care about you. if i really don’t care about you, i probably wouldn’t care about your story huh… actually it’d have to be something more like if i HATE you or REALLY REALLY DISLIKE you then i wouldn’t care about your story… i don’t think anybody is in either of those categories… so just tell me a story!)
i guess most of the time im not interested in telling cool stories, bro. (or am i self-conscious because i can’t tell a cool/good/funny/exciting/scary/etc. story?) (sorry friends, you are the ones affected.)
HAHA - i can imagine edward (if you read this… you shouldn’t cause you’re super busy with school…) already commenting on this and saying “cool story bro”.
if you read this, sorry for wasting your time… on just a story, bro.
